Kidneys and Dreams

So, A LOT serendiptiously has been occurring.

A hotel room, rented exceedingly cheaply downtown was manifested for this just-past Thursday and Friday-- the twelth and, dududduh, Friday the thirteenth. I had the full intention of locking myself up in a room and writing. Writing writing until I was finished, even if it took three days, I would get my writing done.

Tuesday, I had the chills, followed by an accupuncture appointment with a Chinese Woman telling me to avoild oral sex... either way.

Interesting.

Then, the illness gets worse, there's ache and pain all over my body. My chiropractor adjusts me in every direction, nearly to tears, this pain was... I cross my fingers that with enough fluids, enough vitamins and bathroom breaks, that by Thursday, i'd be ready.

This was no the reality.

I ended up under doctor's care Thursday.

I spent a lot of my energy crying. Not just over the unidentifiable and crippling pain under my left side of my ribcage. I was disappointed in myself. I sat there seeking a reason WHY if EVERYTHING has been strictly smooth recently, why do i have to bask in the re-emersion of my past ailments..... an infant's reflux and chronic kidney infections arise as a young woman.

FUCK.

I cried for Flick. Wasted time. I cried because I have so much more I want to work on.... that i'm pressing myself for time.... that the characters have grown from kindergarten to gradeschool to being rebellious and angst teenagers in just over a month.

That the story gets deeper and deeper the more the characters unfold themselves to me.... the more the truth becomes apparent.

I shake off this illness, the dizzy spells, the weak knees... the being in my apartment for 4 days without hardly leaving....

I welcome creativity. I welcome productivity. I will rest until I am better, and I expect only time shall alot what energies are spent running through my fingertips and mind, creating a story.

I've been building the structure, the frame. the part where you draw the dots, then connect the little bastards.

This is where you glue and unglue your head and your characters and your scenes... often being a painful or absurd process due to the nature of the game....

I'm playing with the intangible.

Thank you to Grant Monohon for support....

Thank you to Miss Nicole Rae Schafer, the love of my life for backing me no matter what the consequence.

To G Thomas, for patience.

To Joshua Boyd, for the same... waiting on character sketches and whatnot.

To Megs West, for being my relentless cheerleader.

To my love, for letting me break down without fear i would break.

GRATITUDE.