active love

So. There's a snippet of where this project came from. The struggles endured in my personal experience as a manifestor has been exactly that; a struggle with myself.

One of my hugest issues as an artist is where the source origin is for a particular idea... Art from the Ego is not something that works in the "serious" ( I use this term LIGHTLY) world of Art.

Recently, I've been glancing through old journals, trying to find a sense of self through examining what I might previously wanted. "Flick" was on every "To Do" List I've created, typically number 3 on the list, preceded by health and healing, and human growth. Little did I know that "Flick" was an off shoot of both ideals.

I asked myself over and over the last years, where is this desire coming from? Am I trying to be famous? Am I seeking recognition? My heart has always been the drive for this project... a place inside me where a smaller voice speaks. I've been woken in the middle of finals week, exhausted, hands hurting from essay and academic paper writing, called in the night to sit and write, outlining the scattered characters and thoughts and moments and concepts I wanted so badly to communicate through the lighter, through the film.

"Flick." A motion, a sound with a lighter. Flick. A film.

Recently, I'd thought I'd move to New York. Maybe there I could chase my dream. Or, drown in the city itself.

Through a series of serendiptious events, I met people I hadn't expected to meet, and the universe provided for me when I was in need of abundance. Serving beers to an established cinematographer who just-so-happened to return to his hometown, balancing his work between L.A. and New York. Editor, Kelix, whom showed me that my adamant fervor will push the project forward. Buying a pair of jeans I couldn't afford, in a shop I'd never been in, and my gut screaming at me to say hello to a girl, now a young woman, I hadn't spoken to in years. Nicole Rae, an actress and model and now my personal assistant to the film.

Just do it. Do SOMETHING, my sister tells me. My sister, a focused Capricorn with endless ambition and structure, complaining of my scattered mind and behavior and goals.

Is this coming from my heart-- like art from the heart, or is this a selfish hoop dream that will never be?

Is this coming from my heart? Are my focuses on community and communication worthless, uninspired?

No. No, I don't know that, I keep saying to myself. I will attract the way, I will attract the people and the desire to do it.

A friend of mine said that the universe never "gives" you what you want... it gives you the desire and the ability to make it happen for yourself.

Make it happen.

Make "Flick" Real.

This project is attracting more love and connections than I ever could have imagined.

I'm so grateful for all those who are going to assist in making a dream, a vision, come true.